Audiobook Review: Middle School The Worst Years of my Life by James Patterson

Middle School, the Worst Years of My Life by James Patterson

My rating: 1 of 5 stars


Have you ever picked something up just because you've been told the author is amazing, and then after you start reading/listening to it begin to wonder if the world is crazy or if you just have no taste? That is what happened to me when I first started listening to this middle-schooler geared audiobook. Patterson is supposed to be a genius. So many people in my town rave about how amazing his stuff is. So what's wrong with me? Why can't I get into his stuff?

I knew I was in trouble when the intro music (an annoying electric guitar piece) continued even after the narrator started the story which made it difficult to focus on the words. The reader's voice (Bryan Kennedy) was beyond annoying, but I'll say more about that in a minute.

I picked this book up because I have 2 middle-schoolers; my oldest son (who now loves to read) has been stuck in the high fantasy/middle-ages genre. I was hoping this story would be suitable for him to read to get him out of the reading rut. Not that there is anything wrong with fantasy, just I'm running out of options for him at the library. I'm not sure if this book is actually in print or if it is only in audio format (I'm guessing the latter as the main character references the fact that he is talking to me-his listener-through his story on an audiobook--a device I found quite annoying personally) but it doesn't matter. I won't be getting this book out for him. It wasn't anything like what I expected.

What did I expect? Well, this is a James Patterson story, so I expected super short chapters. Score one for me. One chapter was only 1 sentence long. I also expected some cheesy, cliche-laden scenes and dialogue. Two-for-two, go Samantha! What I didn't expect was just HOW cheesy and cliched this story would be. I absolutely HATED the plot. The main character is annoying. Just about all the characters are annoying. Maybe it was the reader's voice that made them that way, but I have a feeling it was just the way the characters were written.

I think there are a few points I should make to explain why I feel this story is so bad.

1) The story is about a boy who is bored in school and decides to play a game he created to make school more fun. The game is to break every rule in the rule book. I know it's a work of fiction meant to entertain our youth, but could you send a worse message? Yeah, you could, but this one was bad enough. And the ending made it even worse.

2) The game the boy creates (Operation RAFE) is ridiculous. My 6th grade son started listening to this book with me and he looked at me and said, "Is this writer for real? Does he actually think a sixth grader would be like that? The kid seems more like a third or fourth grader to me." My 6th grade daughter chimed in her agreeance. I just about fell over at that. My daughter AGREED with her brother! And what they agreed on was that this book was ridiculous. She opted not to listen to it any more after disc 1 and asked me to turn it off when she was in the car with me. This from the book's target audience guys!

3) More about the game...the point system. ????? Really? And the rewards for a million points(?) are absurd. To be honest, I can't even remember them as they were only mentioned once and were so off-the-wall, over-the-top insane, it's just crazy. At this point, even my third grader was scratching his head trying to understand the point system and just what the point was for earning the points.

4) The reader's voice. Oh, the reader's voice. Grating. Annoying. I could say more unpleasant things, but I'll leave it at that. My first grader said the voice reminded him of Shaggy from Scooby Doo. I disagree with that but found it an interesting comparison.

5) If you look past the idiotic game (plot) and were able to suffer through the sound, you come to my next big issue...the ending. Okay, so the kid is a delinquent who is failing out of school, getting into fights, and trying to break rules. So, what should we do with a kid like that? Let's REWARD him with art school. Sure, he gets a punishment of getting expelled and has to complete sixth grade in his mother's diner, but he gets a huge reward with minimal punishment. The supposed authorities let a family tragedy which happened nearly a decade before excuse the kid's behavior and bad choices. I just feel this is giving a really bad message to our kids. Do whatever you want and, no matter how bad/illegal your choices are, everything will work out.

I wasn't the biggest James Patterson fan to begin with, but after this story, I'm even less of a fan. I listened to his Witches & Wizards story (The One Who Is The One - my hubby and I still joke about that) and read a couple of his adult books, but am just not impressed. I think this may be the last J.P. book I pick up.



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Audio Book Review: Carrie by Stephen King

Carrie by Stephen King

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I love Stephen King. His stories are so unique and he really knows how to pull the reader in to his world. Carrie didn't disappoint. I'd read the story years ago (when I was in middle school - what were my parents thinking?!) and remembered being in awe the first time. The movie was ho-hum like most Stephen King movies, in my opinion. The three stars on this review aren't so much for the story itself but for the audio presentation of the book.

Sissy Spacek is the reader and she does a good job. I think the way the book is written, presenting parts as excerpts from other books/articles makes it difficult to listen to in audio format. I don't mind the occasional AP report or quote from a book, but it was hard to stay 'in' Carrie while listening to it.

So, as far as audiobooks go, this isn't one of my favorites. I much preferred Dolores Claiborne in audio over Carrie. But, the Carrie audiobook also is not the worst I've listened to before.



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Audio Book Review: Linger by Maggie Stiefvater

Linger by Maggie Stiefvater

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


At first, the telling of the story from 4 different points-of-view irritated me. I thought the first book with 2 povs was enough. But, now that I've finished the story, I'm glad Maggie Stiefvater did choose to write from the perspective of four different characters. It was good to get to know each of the characters so intimately. I liked Isabel in the previous book and getting to hear the story from her made me like her all that much more. She is such a complex girl! I didn't care for the Cole character that much but was glad when he started to be good, even though I feel that the change in him from the jerk to the caring guy was a bit unbelievable. Grace and Sam kind of annoyed me. They should've been more open and honest with each other...after everything they went through to be together in book 1, I couldn't believe Grace wouldn't be honest with Sam about her fears or that Sam would so willingly blind himself to her illness.

The story ended with not so much a cliff-hanger as a promise for more to come. I look forward to getting my hands on a copy of Forever and finishing the trilogy. And I am so glad that it is meant to be a trilogy and won't be dragged out for book after book so the series can end well and on a high note rather than being dragged on forever just to market on the fact that the author has an audience now.

As far as an audiobook goes, Linger was much better than Shiver. The voices of the readers worked well together and were no where near as annoying/aggrevating as the ones used in Shiver. I thought the voice of Sam went a little too extreme into being the soft, tender, artistic type after being so gravelly and emotional in book 1 but I did like the reader better. Coles voice fit his personality well. Both girls did a great job too.

I look forward to finding out the conclusion to the story about the wolves of Mercy Falls!



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